Rain.

[awesomesprout]

I firmly believe the weather as of late has been nothing but a pure reflection of my mood and my feeling of self worth.

The worse I feel the worse the weather has been getting.

I feel unwanted. Low. Discouraged. Frustrated. Distanced. Rejected. Hurt. Tired. Out of Control. Empty. Stressed. Afraid. Worried. Insecure.

A day has not gone by this week that I haven't cried. I even cried at work today on the shoulder of a coworker.

I haven't sold anything. We haven't had shit for customers coming in. And the ones that I do get are bad. I'm starting feel hopeless. I'm starting to feel like I'm not going to be able to do this and I'm going to just fail. Again.

I feel very very very worthless right now.

I've been reminded that I'm supposed to schedule some sort of birthday get together. I guess this weekend is as good as any. Anyone up to do something for my birthday? It'll probably just be dinner somewhere. If I hold something this weekend and you want to come please let me know so I can see if enough people are up for going.

Comments

[my-other-ljname.livejournal.com]

Poor darling...

Of course I'll be at your birthday bash. We can be miserable together!

Don't think about the job so much right now. Just remember that it's your first week on the floor. It's rainy. It's a shitty economy. It's always hard in the beginning, ESPECIALLY in a sales environment. You only get back half of what you give in your line of work. If you want it all, you've got to be willing to close your eyes take a few leaps. But hey... once you get over that initial hump...

...you're home free. :) Just keep puttin' along... you'll be fine.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

thanks hun.... sorry to hear about your " time " at the party... and yes I'd love for you to come to my bash... :)

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Persevere! You're suffering a bout of "Not immediately successful, dammit!" nerves, but you'll get through them if you just grit your teeth and remember that EVERYONE started *somewhere*. You're just at the start right now - don't give in to despair just yet.

And you're not unwanted, you silly goose. You think I subsidize everyone's coffee habit?

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Yah I know... I totally bitched at this other sales consultant at my dealership named Marvin who was like " Hey you know what.. I know it's hard.. like my first day.. I sold a car already... " and then went on to tell me how he did it. I was like THANKS MARVIN! THAT TOTALLY helped. Dork. :)

but yes.. I do appreciate your fundage of my starbucks addiction... :) I will take you on a shopping spree. You can hold me to that. :) Thanks johanna.. it means a lot to me....

If I have athing this weekend, would you be able to make it?

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

I believe so, yes - although my weekends tend to be murky 'til Thursday or so. :)

What day were you thinking of?

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

prolly saturday

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Works for me. :)

[baronlaw.livejournal.com]

Make it Saturday and i will attempt to cheer you up too. :)

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

k :)

[moonlightgdess.livejournal.com]

I will be up there late Sat if you have it then, but count me in.

[shannybug.livejournal.com]

I feel unwanted. Low. Discouraged. Frustrated. Distanced. Rejected. Hurt. Tired. Out of Control. Empty. Stressed. Afraid. Worried. Insecure.

::hugs:: I like you and I've never met ya.:)

Whenever I do finally get back out to CA we'll have to meet.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

no problem :) come buy a car from me :) hehe ;)

<<<--- sounds absolutely fab!

[danlum.livejournal.com]

*mwah* mucho love your way! if you want to include me, i'll be down to do some celebrating your birthday!

[danlum.livejournal.com]

some ol' school for ya.... can we say youth asylum?

jasmin jessica
my favorite girl
my favorite girl in the whole wide world
never will forget the day that
she stole my heart away

jasmin jessica
my favorite girl
my favorite girl in the whole wide world
gotta let everybody know that
she's my favorite girl

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

:: cries :: OH MY GOD!!!! I CANNOT believe you put that song up!!! They never released their album so I never got to buy it... you rule Dan :) You really really do..