awesomesprout

1. My goddamn toe is working its way to being ingrown... AGAIN!!! ARG!!! So that means I'll probably have to get it surgically messed with. Again. :: grumble :: Just when I was finally gonna have money for a pedicure.

2. Some people from the Sacramento haunt ( which hasn't started yet. ) came and " visited " our haunt last night. Basically, they went through the mazes and talked about how much better a job they can do. That we are losers. And that if we're gonna do it, we should do it right. Also, about how unafraid they were by our attempts at scaring them.

It's not a fucking competition here, people. We're all doing the same thing. That's like two postmen fighting because one sticks mail in a persons mailbox differently than another.

Good god. What is this world coming to. Fucktards.

and finally. 3. If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought? Post your answer here, and then put this in your LJ.

And off to haunting for 6 hours I go. Woot.

Anyone up for BaGG tonight?

I'm feeling antsy and needing to get out.

Let me know.

I can drive.

Well I'm still alive. Yay.

So uhm yah....

Due to the fact that the manager who let me go from the vet didn't think my check was important enough to inform the manager handling payday to put a rush on it. My check had to be picked up with the rest of the vet staff. Making it so I had to go to PG&E and pay the bill in person so my power wouldn't be shut off that day. And then, my cable bill was late so my cable/internet was shut off on like... thursday or friday. Don't remember.

Went to the haunt throughout the weekend. I'm starting to feel like being there is my entire life. But I miss it when I'm not there.

Scaring people is like a drug. When you do it right. That first successful time is the most amazing feeling. And then you're hooked. You get more and more scary as time passes. It's awesome.

The weekend went well. The spot I've picked for scaring people is proving to be ideal. The longer days like Fridays and Saturdays are hard because it's standing for 6 hours. But I'm getting more and more used to it. A couple of stupid people came through and caused some problems. But hey, no one's perfect.

When I wasn't at the haunt I was in bed, resting. My body and voice. I'm still very hoarse. :( I do a lot of growling and yelling and it's killing my voice. So lots of tea and very little talking.

My cough is still here so that's only irritating things. Bleh.

On Sunday someone thought it would be a good idea to, without permission, turn up the fog machines. Which in turn, caused the fire alarm to go off. Thus, about 4 fire trucks showed up and we had to close up for the night. Which was ok because we were in our last hour anyway.

I haven't gotten a full/restful night's sleep in a while. And it's hard. So I end up sleeping most of the day away. Which is what I've been doing monday/tuesday. I've been at Loren's just sleeping and doing nothing. I missed my classes yesterday. ug.

I've also lost weight because I move around a lot in the haunt and I've been eating healthy because if I eat crap I feel like crap when I'm scaring people.

I'm still looking for a roommate. I've only gotten one response and the guy is a little iffy. So I'm starting to get more and more worried about that. If it comes down to it. I may just move into a smaller place.

I REALLY need to get a job. BADLY. Loren has a friend that owns an in-home business in walnut creek so I may go check her out.

Other than that. Not much to my life. I miss everyone. And I'm dreading that my birthday is approaching in a little over a month.

Sigh.

I've had a shitty day.

I just don't want to deal with even being human right now.

I'm going to bed.

Just please leave me alone.

Ok. So I've been going to fanimecon for a few years now and have never really seriously cosplayed as anything. My second year I went in EGL. (elegant gothic lolita). Last year, in a last minute decision I went as one of the girls from Sin City sans weapons which would have completed the costume.

This year.

I'm going all out.

I'm gonna go as:

Dun dun dun!!

Badtz Maru!!

Yay!!

I want my costume to look something like this:

http://www.puroland.co.jp/spl/discovery/splchara/images/pro_xo.jpg

So I found out why my status at el jobbo was caputted.

And yah. Like I thought. A REALLY stupid reason. Basically I was the scapegoat for my manager's stress. Yay.

If you want more details I'll tell you privately.

Some guy drove up beside me today while I was driving to school and whistled. He had a cowboy up sticker on his car. A huge one. :: shudder ::

I REALLY need to pay my rent/bills. Ug. stupid slow ass checks.

So I put my ad up on Craigslist looking for a roommate. If anyone is interested, let me know and I'll give you the link.

I really wanna play DDR. And go clubbing.

:: think think :: BaGG IS tomorrow afterall...

Maybe if I get my check in the mail and I have anything left over from bills I'll go play a game or two.

But. Who knows.

Back to the haunt on thursday.

Ug. I feel bleh.

Failure is a concept I've dealt with way too much lately. It's starting to take it's toll on my already low confidence.

Not good.

Oh well.

I'm tired.

I hate when I'm just another of something.

Like say there's this really popular ( by after high school standards and such ) guy and like he's a total charmer,hottie,etc... and all these girls like him.

So of course. I fall for it. And I end up liking him. And then I become JUST ANOTHER one of this guy's drooling groupies or something.

I HATE THAT!! Ug. I cannot deal with popular people. I'm way too attention hungry from my friends to cope.

Like, if I'm hanging out with said popular person I want to feel like its just me. But then say I call popular person to hang out and he's on the phone with me talking about the millions of other people JUST LIKE ME whom he's sharing his time with and therefore, has no time for me.

It makes me want to rip out my eyeballs or something. Cuz I really just don't feel all that special. Maybe I'm not just as social as I think. Maybe I just don't have the self-confidence to have a HUGE group of friends anymore.

Ug.

God. Maybe I should use all this newfound free time to fuckin' go out and meet people.

Or at least look at the opportunities to do so that are right in front of me... i.e.: The haunt.

Or maybe I really am neurotic and think way too much about things that aren't worth thinking about.

Whatever. I'm sick and need sleep.

Yay!! I just spent 100 dollars on new clothes from Old Navy. Thanks to the money my grandma sent me. Kinda had to get new clothes. My favorite jeans have just about had it. I'm still gonna need to either lose major weight and fast or be stuck with one pair of jeans again for now.

I introduced Loren to the joy that is Chef Burger. Also, went to Target and got him pants for the haunt.

Tonight I have finish ALL of my algebra and do keroppi's fluids. Ug.

I'm still fighting whatever illness my body seems to want to contract. It's a fierce battle to the death. I'm winning. So far.

So... so... tired.

It being me.

Hi there.

I had one of those Jesus Mother Mary and Joseph moments today when I came home from job numero dos and saw that my grandma had sent me a couple of hundred dollars check. Without informing me beforehand. Yes. I feel REALLY guily that she sent me that money. And if I didn't actually need it, I'd tear the check up.

In other news... The haunted house has to postpone their opening until Friday because the house isn't finished being built. I'm guessing all of tonight and all of tomorrow and most of Friday will be spent building this thing.

Tomorrow will become my official, " Rest as much as possible, eat healthy, and mentally reset before The Month of Chaos™ dawns. "

My body thinks it's going to pull a " You're putting too much stress on us, we're going to act like we have a cold or the beginnings of Assflu™ " trick on me. So what am I doing? FUCK YOU!!! My time to finally push myself. Here. You like Vitamin C? TAKE THAT!! And another 1000 mg of Vitamin C. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!

Ahem.

I might have the possibility of a roommate. It's a very slim chance so I'm not getting all that stoked about it. But it's still a possibility. Her name is Jessica and she works at the vet with me.

So we'll see.

Other than that, not much else going on. :)

So I'm going to clean up. And go to sleep.

Cuz I'm fucking beat.

I don't want to be awake right now!! ARG!! Tooo..... Earrrlllyyy....

Whatever. MY fault. I wanted to party last night.

I had fun tho :)

Resolved some communication issues that needed to be solved with a friend.

Glad that's better.

I have to go to school. Come home. Nap. Do as much homework as humanly possible before tomorrow. And make dinner for myself and Megan.

Dress rehearsal is tomorrow for Gyro's. I'm really stoked. But in a way I'm feeling a bunch of different emotions that sort of cropped up last night.

For instance. I began to get the maybe I don't really want to do this anymore feeling. Primaily due to fear I believe. I'm afraid that something will happen physically. Like an injury or something. My knees are starting to warn me that if I don't slow down and stretch more often I'm going to have a big problem. Also, I'm afraid that during performing that I'll hurt myself by trying too hard or something.

But I guess those are just risks I have to take.

Also, for the first time in a LONG time I have NO FREE TIME! I'm not used to this. And I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed. I have this horrible idea that people are gonna abandon me due to my being so busy. That thought bothers me. Like, after the month is through and I'm free again. No one will have time for me anymore. Illogical? Probably.

I know that a lot of my emotions are due to uncertainty and a feeling of being distracted by a new, shiny toy. It's a metaphor. Think about it.

I have to have courage and follow through with the things I've committed to. I know that if I don't finish this month with the force and strength of a thousand suns, I'll not only let myself down but so many other people who have voiced confidence in my abilities.

And on that note. I'm going to go get dressed.

( Cuz I'm sappy. )