" Life is beautiful " - Cabaret

[awesomesprout]

I've had an epiphany. I really have.

Life. Is absolutely fucking amazing to me. It's so clear now. I... I can't believe how fucking stupid I've been. What a whiney little bitch I've been.

So my morning started off... well I'm gonna be honest here... my morning was shitty. Woke up to an empty bed :( ... got into a tiffy with James. Left the house angry and disappointed. OH well. Wah me.

So I'm driving to berkeley.. just singing to the radio. And not feeling bad if I run over someone who just ups and walks in front of me on telegraph.

I get to my friend's place and I get what I needed to get and I head home.

I put on 92.7 The Party. ( My all time favorite station on the radio )

And my favorite songs all start playing one after another. It's awesome!! So I'm dancing, singing, bumping my music uncomfortably loud.

And I'm driving on Claremont weaving through the curvy streets to get to the freeway.. just feeling sort of blah. Then it happens!

Some lady. In another green beetle going the opposite direction waves at me. Just because I have a green beetle. See normally I hate this kind of shit. But I didn't hate it this time. Instead.. I just laughed. I smiled the whole way home! And then the song that I just posted came on. And I smiled even bigger because I thought of James.

Then I finally realized everything. Life is fucking good.

Sure. I don't have a job or money or whatever. But other than that. I have NOTHING to bitch about.

People like me. They GENUINELY like ME. This is most amazing thing in the world to me. I have a WONDERFUL boyfriend. Friends who listen to my constant bitching and don't just say " ok enough.. " and leave. People who like me not for who I try to be but for who I am.

I'm alive! I'm healthy. I'm breathing. I'm a person with thoughts and ideas and skills and talents.

I have no reason to be down or angry or miserable or any of that bullshit.

What have I been doing? Well I can tell you what I HAVEN'T been doing. And that's waking up and looking at the little important and amazing things in life. The little joys.

Like just driving down a highway listening to your favorite song!

Or Getting kissed by someone who loves you

Or having a conversation with a friend.

Just the simple things that I've been ignoring all this time.

HALLELUJAH! I'm fucking ALIVE!

All that bullshit that I THOUGHT was important is nothing more than that... BULLSHIT.

Welcome to the NEW and IMPROVED Jessica doll. Accessories not included. :)

I'm still not healed but I am getting better.

Comments

[appletrees.livejournal.com]

You... are the ultimate VW commercial!

And don't you love epiphanies?

I'm very happy for you! :)