My goals are as follows:

First Dreamworks.

Then Disney.

Then Pixar.

Then... I take over the world.

Realistic?

I like to think so. :)

My halloween was pretty low key.

I got up and got into my ren faire outfit which I claimed was my halloween costume. :)

I went to school and hung out with my friend Erique and one of his classmates. We grabbed food and just chilled.

I dropped them back off and I went and grabbed a few little gifts for my friend's bday.

I then headed over to Alameda and hung out with Angelica and her GF and did homework while they got ready for the party.

After they were ready we went to the party.

I guess most people were planning on showing up late because there was hardly anyone there. So we mainly just sat around.

After a while, a lot more people showed up and the party wasn't too bad. There was a lot of booze ( I didn't drink ), lots of people liked my costume, lots and lots of food, 2 pinatas, a HUGE cake, etc. etc.etc.

Angelica and her girl left early. I was going to ride with them but the host convinced me to stay. ( I almost wish I'd just gone with Angelica because I ended up having to stay til almost 2am while cleanup was happening to get a ride. )

I came home with a caramel apple and the biggest bag of candy ever! :)

As I came home my roommate, Shafu was also coming home.. totally... wasted. :)

So I got to spend the next hour playing therapist to his drunken confessional and epiphanies. :)

Good times.

Finally, I was like. Yo, you got class tomorrow. And so do I. Go to bed. And drink lots of water.

And then I went to sleep :)

I think I've pretty much decided that I'm moving to Alameda. I mean... I think right now it really is the best option I have.

My grandma was like, " Why would you want to do that? "

Me: " Um... why would I not want to move somewhere that's 500 bucks cheaper a month in rent? "

I was really confused as to why she would be so opposed to me moving. I think she thought Alameda would be a lot farther from my school and work options.

Now that all my partying is out of my system, I'm going to buckle down and start hunting hardcore.

YAY!

I'm finally gonna do it!

Also.. I know that if I don't I will not get it done today. Or ever. :)

So here we go.

( Friday. )

( Saturday )

( Sunday )

Short Version: Trip was awesome. I won stuff. Rode around on Rascals. Drove home. Yay :)

In other news:

I got my first term grades back. You're looking at a 4.0 student! That's right! I got an "A" in both of my classes! :)

I started my new term yesterday and good god I already have a shitton of homework to do today.

So yah. I'm gonna go get ready for the day and get started on that.

A classmate called me this morning to let me know his dog passed away because he was hit by a car. So I told him I'd swing by during his break inbetween classes and hang out with him for a bit. So I may take my homework and just work on it there while I wait for him to get out of class.

( I always work better at school )

Also, I need to finish revamping my resume and start lookin' for a job.

I wish everyone a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

And I hope that I can hang out with you people soon! :)

So there's this goal I want to make.

Disneyland is extending their " Year of a Million Dreams " to 2008. Basically, that means that they're awarding a whole new batch of prized for 2008.

They pretty much choose a family in the park every day to win some amazing prize. Be it staying in the special new suite they're building on Main St in DL or staying in Cinderella's castle in Disneyworld... trips... etc. etc.etc.

Well, another way to enter is by sending in a postcard. Well.. you're allowed to send in one entry per person, per day.

Soooooo.... Starting Dec. 19th... and going til Dec, 31, 2008... I thought about sending in a postcard a day.

Sounds easy, right?

I think I could do it.

Hey Mike.

I doubt you'll ever read this.

But thank you for not responding to my last e-mail last night. I want to thank you for reaffirming everything that I already thought about you to be true.

So as it stands. You haven't changed. You don't ever want to deal with anything. And you really... really don't give a shit about me, how I feel, or anything for that matter that doesn't directly make your already perfect existence, better.

So I hope you have a fabulous birthday and I wish you luck for the rest of your life.

The items you asked about will be taken care of shortly. And you kind of just made me wake up a little bit. So I think this whole moving on process will be that much faster and easier.

And from this moment on, I swear to make it my mission to be the most fucking AMAZING visual fx artist and animator you have EVER known.

Thank you again.

- Jessica

Message to myself by Melissa Etheridge

I'm sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I warned myself of the blackness in my chest
The razors in my heart would never rest
It's funny how you find just what you seek
Love is what you get when love is what you speak

I'm sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I made every choice along the way
Each day I spent in hell I chose to stay
It's funny what you fear can make you weak
Truth is what you get when truth is what you speak

I'm sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

So if you are listening I am just passing through
You can take some for yourself 'cause it works that way too

Sha la la la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la la la
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I'm sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I'm sending out a message to myself
So that when I hear it on the radio
I will know that I am fine,
I will know that I am loved.

I kinda fuckin hate most of everything about my life.

The good things I have right now going for me are:

School ( although.. if I can't change my schedule of classes for next term, I'm gonna be hatin' life because my job situation is going to be shit. )

My friends.

My family.

My rat and fish.

And the fact that deep down.... I know that in the end. All the heartache, stress, frustration, work, etc. will all pay off.

Now.. whether or not... I'll actually be able to hang on to that and use it as my guiding strength is the actual challenge.

All I know is that right now. I'm miserable. I'm stressed out. I'm feeling very alone. I'm feeling very helpless. I'm feeling like a failure in a lot of ways. And I'm very... very scared.

:(

I'll stop posting so much I promise :)

Just another quickie.

So thanks to the rumor mill at my work.

The word on the street was that I didn't come to work because my car was impounded.

No.

I was unable to come to work because I had been..... ARRESTED! :)

haha :)

I laughed really hard when I heard that. :)

I guess I can be an artist sometimes.

I was just sketching on a notepad at work.

And I somehow.... created this thing.

I guess it's more of a simple character than anything else.

But *I* created it. Me.

It has a name. It has depth.

And... I'm kind of excited about it.

I hope someday I can actually bring it to life.... There's also another character I've had in my head for a really long time.

Her name is Bridgette. She's a little more on the cartoony side but she's this little Rockabilly girl. Prolly about 12 - 15 years old.

I've already got her mapped out in my head right down to her hair and clothes.

I'm kinda stoked about that. I need to start sketching her out but yah.

I'm such a dork. Yesterday, I was at Ren Faire and I heard these people who worked at Faire talking. They mentioned things like, " Character Rigging," and " Pixar, " and " School. "

So I went over and asked what school they went to. I guess they were Art Institute kids. One was doing game art and design ( GAD ) and the other was more into Programming.

I thought it was funny that I picked up on that :) Yay for.... I guess that would networking, right?

It's sunday.

Annnnnnd... I'm at work.

Yay.

My co-worker, Trina, had a death in the family. Her grandmother passed away. If I remember correctly, they had just brought her here from the Phillipines a couple of months ago so they could be with her. She was already pretty sick so the family was prepared.

I still feel bad for her.

And that's why I'm here working.

My uncle let me borrow his car, which if you all remember, used to be my car. The beetle! :)

I miss having a car though. Hopefully that will all get resolved soon.

After work, I'm going to stop by my place and grab overnight stuff so I can stay at Blake and Sammy's tonight so I can get a ride to class tomorrow.

And I have a TON of homework to work on. Mainly psych. I have one article to write up for Anthro and some reading to do. And for psych I have one worksheet to fill out, 2 more quizzes from the book ( oh my god those things take like an hour a piece at least to finish. And I've had to do about 7 of them! ), and my big final project. Oh.. did I mention I only have a week and a half left of class? YAY!

The 25th is the only day off from classes I get before my next set of classes begins. That's going to be one of our insider's days. Which means someone from each of our industries is going to be at the school speaking. And we've having a scavenger hunt! I've already got a team together. The prize is 200 bucks. We're so gonna win :)

Yesterday, I went to Ren Faire for the third and final time this Faire season. I've been fortunate enough that my awesome friends have paid for me to go. I didn't actually dress up this time though. I dressed up the other 2 times. I still had an awesome time. Got kinda sunburned though. Lame.

I went with Wendy yesterday and she and I went on the giant swings they have. I hadn't done that, ever. It was sooo much fun! And the guys who push the swings are HILARIOUS! :) They kept making " wood " jokes because the swings were made of wood. :)

I can't wait until Dicken's Faire.

I've still got this obnoxious cough and I'm still not caught up on sleep. But I did laundry last night which is seriously an accomplishment in itself.

I'm really grateful for my friends. Everyone has been seriously helpful over this crappy time that I've been through. Be it just to give advice or listen to my self-destructive tyrades. Or to give me rides places. Or just hanging out with me. Or anything. Every little bit helps and I have a lot of heroes.

So thank you everyone.

Alright, well back to doing nothing since work is totally dead.

I hope everyone has a good sunday.