awesomesprout (
awesomesprout) wrote2003-09-30 08:37 am
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Sigh...
I didn't go to my interview today... it was just too much of a commute and not worth it money wise. SO yah. Go me. I turned down a job for the first time... But it's ok I have an interview in pleasant hill tomorrow...
So anyone want to play jyhad tonight? I kinda want to play....
So I talked to my ex last night on the phone for like 2 hours.... I apologized to him for a lot of things. Mainly for destroying his life. I feel horrible for what I did to him. But I haven't forgotten so I intend to help him out as well. I know what I just said was kinda vague but if you wanna know the whole story just ask me... I don't really feel like typing it out.. We also talked about where our lives are going and he gave me a long advice-entailing speech about the decisions I'm making and how he thinks I'm only going to end up in trouble again. I told him I had things under control but I appreciated the concern. Things for him are hard as well.... and I know it's me who put him there. It's amazing. I'm responsible for destroying another human being's life. 2 if you count my own. And all it took was anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, agoraphobia, and about a year. Mix well. Chill. Then serve. And Viola! You have nothing left! You are merely the hollow shell of a person that once was sucessful and going somewhere. I cried last night. I cried for him and I cried for myself. What am I to become?
So anyone want to play jyhad tonight? I kinda want to play....
So I talked to my ex last night on the phone for like 2 hours.... I apologized to him for a lot of things. Mainly for destroying his life. I feel horrible for what I did to him. But I haven't forgotten so I intend to help him out as well. I know what I just said was kinda vague but if you wanna know the whole story just ask me... I don't really feel like typing it out.. We also talked about where our lives are going and he gave me a long advice-entailing speech about the decisions I'm making and how he thinks I'm only going to end up in trouble again. I told him I had things under control but I appreciated the concern. Things for him are hard as well.... and I know it's me who put him there. It's amazing. I'm responsible for destroying another human being's life. 2 if you count my own. And all it took was anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, agoraphobia, and about a year. Mix well. Chill. Then serve. And Viola! You have nothing left! You are merely the hollow shell of a person that once was sucessful and going somewhere. I cried last night. I cried for him and I cried for myself. What am I to become?
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Even if a bad situation brings bad things, the other person chooses to stay. You can't fix everyone. They have their own drama that kept them around, too.
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