Sigh...

[awesomesprout]

I didn't go to my interview today... it was just too much of a commute and not worth it money wise. SO yah. Go me. I turned down a job for the first time... But it's ok I have an interview in pleasant hill tomorrow...

So anyone want to play jyhad tonight? I kinda want to play....

So I talked to my ex last night on the phone for like 2 hours.... I apologized to him for a lot of things. Mainly for destroying his life. I feel horrible for what I did to him. But I haven't forgotten so I intend to help him out as well. I know what I just said was kinda vague but if you wanna know the whole story just ask me... I don't really feel like typing it out.. We also talked about where our lives are going and he gave me a long advice-entailing speech about the decisions I'm making and how he thinks I'm only going to end up in trouble again. I told him I had things under control but I appreciated the concern. Things for him are hard as well.... and I know it's me who put him there. It's amazing. I'm responsible for destroying another human being's life. 2 if you count my own. And all it took was anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, agoraphobia, and about a year. Mix well. Chill. Then serve. And Viola! You have nothing left! You are merely the hollow shell of a person that once was sucessful and going somewhere. I cried last night. I cried for him and I cried for myself. What am I to become?

Comments

[27outs.livejournal.com]

Reality check - It's very hard to ruin someone's life.

Even if a bad situation brings bad things, the other person chooses to stay. You can't fix everyone. They have their own drama that kept them around, too.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

lemme put it this way... he went from living on his own and having anything he wanted or needed to living back with his parents barely livin off of ramen... and it was because of me...

[27outs.livejournal.com]

you can tell me the sad tale tonight.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

which location would you prefer to play at? Yours or if he's willing, James'?

[27outs.livejournal.com]

James's's's's's's's's. My place is a damn mess.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Weirdo!! Well he keeps signing on and off so when I can catch him I'll ask... :0o

[27outs.livejournal.com]

Hey Jessica,

kinda off topic but they are looking for a CSR at my work. They need someone pretty quick. You interested?

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

richmond right? What's the pay? and james said we could play at his place... don't know what time yet.. but do you need a ride over there? And I can most definitely give you a ride home..

[27outs.livejournal.com]

yes, I would need a ride ther and back again. just like bilbo...

anyway, the pay is around $15 per hour DOE, medical, dental, etc.

Yeah, it's in Richmond.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

dildo teabaggins :) mwaahaha :) ahem. yah.. a ride I can do

as soon as I know the time... I'll let ya know

[27outs.livejournal.com]

what the hell??

oh, and here's a qoute for you -

"Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!"

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

YOU WATCHED IT!!! :) YAYYYYYY!!!

Dildo Teabaggins.. it could be Bilbo's porn name :)

" I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin.. but I'd kinda like to make sweet love to you tonight... "

[27outs.livejournal.com]

LOL, yeah I saw it. it was pretty funny.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Good :) And tonight I Can lend you the vampire bytes book as well :)

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Oh! Ryan... what time do you get home cuz I might need to stop by johanna's before we go to james'... so if I can pick you up earlier that'd be good.. if not.. don't worry about it..

[27outs.livejournal.com]

i need to eat dinner. Ithink 6:30 might be the earliest I could go, maybe 6:15?

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

k 6:15 would be perfect :)