The long drive home....

[awesomesprout]

So yes... today... I drove home from my grandma's and I had the most amazing moment occur...

My favorite song on the trance cd in my car came on... I don't know the name but it's known to me as track #8.

The beats start... I smile.. i turn it up... I grip the steering wheel.

I'm on 580... there's quite a few cars on the road but I glide in n out of them with ease until it's just me... and the music.

I speed up.. there's only cars way in front of me and way in back... No one around... I slowly push on the gas...

I'm going faster.. and so is the music... I glide through every turn and twist as if it were nothing... 80... 85... 90...

My whole body becomes covered in goose bumps.. I'm tingling... it's orgasmic.. just me... the road.. my machine... and the music...

Sigh.. I never want it to end... but then my exit comes up.. 55... 45... slower...

I turn the stereo back down.. and make my way home...

I'll miss my car.....

Why can't I just fall in love with a hot import boy who can give me my speed fulfillment when I need it? Sigh... Lonliness is cruel..

I also think I'm getting sick of meeting guys online... I think I'm gonna stop doing that altogether... it's becoming more and more meaningless... and nothing is coming from it except disappointment... no relationships.. no guys.. nothing for a while... god... what a meaningless existance I have...

Comments

[fleckerbug.livejournal.com]

Meeting guys online does get old.. I met my last boyfriend online.. and though we cared for each other I think we felt a connection that would not have otherwise developed if we had met in person. Some people think this is a good thing, but in reality it's not. Meeting online gives you a false sense of closeness that is just that, false. I met my current boyfriend at a party (oddly enough right after I'd given up on 'looking'). It was awesome.. so much more fulfilling than any relationship I've had with an online boy. And we knew we were into each other. All the chemistry, the interest, all that shit was there.. and I've never found the equivalent online.

You'll find someone Jess, it's out there for you. Looking online just makes it too easy to find the wrong kind of relationship. Plus, you just got out of a realtionship. Give yourself time.
<3