:: sighs ::

[awesomesprout]

So yes.... well my day was ok... so i woke up at about 10 or so and got ready so I could take jason to the airport to fly to l.a. to visit family. I made him a cd too... yay me. So then I went by and picked up Jahi but he wasn't ready so I had to wait around nervously in the house were I am banned and labled annoying by several members of the household. Which is fine. I so don't care what those people think about me. I tried my best to be nice and if they didn't think I was then fine. So then Jahi was finally getting ready and taking a shower and I was just hanging out and then Jahi made me a cd. Yay him. So we decided to go and visit Jahi's friend Roy. So we got ready to leave and I went out to the car while Jahi talked to Gordon about me being in the house or whatever and I saw that I had a msg on the phone. It was someone from work. So I called her back and she was asking if I Could take her shift for the 7th. I said yah and that was that. So then we went and drove over to Roy's and visited him for a while. Roy and his wife are really really nice people. And they had kitties :) Which is a plus and also they had a really cute 6 month old baby son! So we hung out with them and chatted and then Jahi and I decided we were starving so we went back to my place. Then Jahi told me the unescapable news of him just wanting us to be strictly friends. Platonic friends. No friends with benefits. No nothing. Just friends. So I said fine. I told him I respected his decision and that was that. I mean what was I gonna say? No, fuck you, we must be more than friends or never speak to me again you asshole? No. I would never have said that nor did I feel that way. Whatever makes him happy then that's fine. Yay for him. So that kind of bummed me out and I felt bad cuz he kept asking what was wrong and what I was thinking about and I really wasn't thinking about anything. my mind was just blank. Which is truthfully how I prefer it most of the time. So then we got home and he watched hellsing while I made spagetti. Yay me. So we ate and he fell asleep while watching the series. So then I woke him up and then I did my hair and make up. Eric called and told me when the party was so we left for the shindig shortly thereafter. So we went to the party and hung out there for a few hours. Drank, ate... whatever. I dunno... I wasn't much in the party mood. I'm having just feelings of loniless and feelings of failure. I feel like anything that I keep putting effort in or people that I like keep crapping out on me and it never works out. But oh well. Keep Dealing with it Jessica. That's all you can do. Well I guess I'm gonna go to bed now and get ready for work tomorrow. I'm going to be very reclusive for the next few days possibly even the next week because I really just don't want to talk to anyone. Sorry but that's just how I feel right now. Bye.

P.S.

Jamie, Jahi and I aren't going to make it to golf on sunday. We're both poor. Sorry.

Comments

heyo

[tikijam.livejournal.com]

no worries about golfing, I definitely understand.

Hope things are looking up for you asap, Jessica. Take care!