First and foremost..... this is me...

[awesomesprout]

Yah! Hi there! Well my butt finally got around to starting this journal thing. Yah yah yah, I know I know.... I'm slow ok!!! BUSY!!! Yah, that's it... anyways... Well... life is life. That's all I can say on that... What's up with me... Well in a word, Anxiety. That's my life in a nutshell... yes me, the party animal queen of all queens can't leave the house without feeling like I'm gonna have another panic attack... I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist... god, I really don't want to go on medication for this.. I mean everyone and their mom is on Paxil.. it's like the movie Brain Candy. Not for me... no way... no pills... But on a light note... my nails look damn good... got the new margaret cho as well... You know, people ask me... So what's up? Whatcha up to? And when I sit there and really think about it... I live. That's it... I run through the day to day motions with a certain numbness that business men and middle aged women posses. GOD!!! NO!!! THIS IS NOT ME!!! I am WAY TOO YOUNG for this crap!! That is why I've had a revelation. Quit my god awful job. And go back to school. I need to... this isn't about want anymore it's a carnal need to go out into the world again away from my mundane cubicle and my satanic managers.... and I need to meet people again.. I have like 3 friends... what is up with that? I mean in high school ( though without realizing it and going along with the all this crap doesn't matter later on life theory ) I was damn cool... I had millions of friends... and now, when I happen to see them 2-3 years later and show some interest in being friends with them... they act like I'm crazy... Like, oh god, no she isn't trying to be friends after all these years... it feels good to write this... even if no one reads it... it's there for me... well.... sigh, that's all I can think of for now cuz I've derailed my train of thought... so it's off to make dinner and to watch some tv... and back to work tomorrow... blah!!

Latas!

Comments

[graybaby.livejournal.com]

you should post more often.. it is a good way to vent.