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awesomesproutDear JELL-O Ass,
By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. I'm sorry for doing this but, it fulfills my sadistic fantasies. I know this might comes as a bit of a surprise to you - especially because you're too buried in porn to notice. But I'm sorry – I just need hot sex with someone who isn't a human potato sack. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a German Scat Aficionado, and I'm beyond that. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat endangered species, and enjoy televised sports, and I don't like confessing my love for any of these things. Your favorite movie is Anything Steven Segal, and your favorite band is Whitesnake. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date everyone at your firm. But you know what? I still want to be acquaintances. We can totally talk once a year . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I'm passed out) . But please, don't be bitter like last time. That means no committing arson. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $5,000 you owe me, or the fact that you threw bleach on my face. So take care of yourself - and irrigate that chancre.
Peace Out,
Jessers
P.S. Your box is nasty stank.
By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. I'm sorry for doing this but, it fulfills my sadistic fantasies. I know this might comes as a bit of a surprise to you - especially because you're too buried in porn to notice. But I'm sorry – I just need hot sex with someone who isn't a human potato sack. I think you're a psychopath, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a German Scat Aficionado, and I'm beyond that. You like declawed rodentia colonics, you eat endangered species, and enjoy televised sports, and I don't like confessing my love for any of these things. Your favorite movie is Anything Steven Segal, and your favorite band is Whitesnake. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Nuke me some fucking hash browns!". Anyway, I want to date everyone at your firm. But you know what? I still want to be acquaintances. We can totally talk once a year . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I'm passed out) . But please, don't be bitter like last time. That means no committing arson. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $5,000 you owe me, or the fact that you threw bleach on my face. So take care of yourself - and irrigate that chancre.
Peace Out,
Jessers
P.S. Your box is nasty stank.
