........let the shit hitting the fan commence.

My grandmother has declared as of 1:18am on thursday february 19th, 2004. That she's kicking me out and that I am to get out as soon as possible.


Anyone have a couch I can crash on? I don't get paid til next friday but I can afford a couple hundred dollars for rent. As long as I have a place to hook up my computer and you don't mind my kitty, I'll even clean and cook too.

Sigh. Great. Another thing for me to worry about. Well what better way to deal with things then to just post about it in my journal. Pray someone responds with help. And go to sleep.


Now comes the praying and the sleep part.

It's a hard and crazy world out there ya'll. Wish me luck on makin it.

I'm gonna need all the luck I can muster right about now.

The good. The bad. The painful.

I was thinking last night after my grandma made her announcement. And I was trying to figure out all the good and bad things in my life... so I compiled two lists...

The Good:

Healthy
Have friends
Have a car
Have a job
Have a computer
Have guys and girls who like me


The Bad:

I'm sick
On my period
Getting kicked out
Have very little spare time
Behind on one of my classes
I'm exhausted physically and emotionally

Sigh. I dunno. I'm not sure where I was going with that... I'm really scared....


I gotta go to work now.

Resolution. Temporary or not. It's something.

I have been offered by Johanna and Alex a place to live for a month. Which I am more grateful than I can express in words to them for.

I'm going to work my ass off to find a place asap and not burdan them for too long. I feel bad enough as it is having to ask. But unfortunately since I haven't gotten paid yet I don't have money to put down as deposit for any places.

Craigslist.org is offering some really good ideas and hopefully I can get into one relatively shortly.

Life has turned around and given me a huge kick in the ass. I have to accept and work with my options. I appreciate everyone who's helped me thusfar and who will help me in the future. Your efforts do not go unnoticed nor are they forgotten.

Things in life don't always go according to a plan. And you have to learn to adjust, adapt, and take the next best route. That's what I'm doing now. My life has taken a joltingly new path and I'm patching myself quickly to adapt.

I now have goals and things that are crucial for my existance to continue with a roof over my head, gas in my car, food for my kitty, and food for me. As well as maintaining my sanity and keeping a clear mind.

I HAVE to find a stable and permanent place to live. I HAVE to keep my job. I HAVE to work my ass off to not fail school like I've knowingly failed my other attempts at things in life. I HAVE to take care of myself and do what's best for ME and well.. keroppi cuz he's a big part of my life as well.

So. At this point. Other than my time-limited friendship.. I offer you a look into the journey that has begun of me forming a stable and secure life for myself.

Jesus christ.. I've never been more scared of anything in my life. There is no going back and there is no excuses to be lazy. The only person who can do this is me.

:: takes off shoes and socks ::

Prepare the threshold. I'm ready to start walking.

Advisory...

Just a heads up. Our phones here at work are being worked on starting at 2pm.

so after 2 pm if you need to get a hold of me up until 4pm. Just e-mail me.

After 4pm call me at home or e-mail me.

AERO BARS ROCK MY WORLD!!

So yes,

I brought the HUGE aero bar that johanna got me in england to work and it's been a HUGE hit :) Everyone loves it :) So my coworker*... liking it so much did an internet search and found a website called:


www.britishdelights.com

and it sells TONNNNNNSSS of british candies :) WOOOO!! It's soooo my new favorite site :) Mwahahhaha :)


* this good stuff happened after I spent 10 minutes choking and hacking on a piece that got caught in my throat :) Good thing my customer had put me on hold to check on something :)

Bored...

So I'm pretty bored..

I'm sitting here listening to realplayer and waiting for my grandma to get home so we can talk about me moving out on saturday.

Jesus I can't believe this is really happening...

What a crazy/fucked up week it's been...

Oh well... It's almost over.

So after she says what she's got to say.. i'll prolly go to school and hang out in the library or something for a while.. or watch people play video games.. just cuz I'm that bored and have to kill time til 7...

Welp..

She's home... peace out ya'll