Hey, isn't that Jessica?

[awesomesprout]

Well hello everyone.

Look at that.. I'm still around... well.. barely.

See here's what's been up with little ol' me.

I got fired last tuesday. I was sick the week before and they told me that I was unreliable so they let me go.

I didn't make a scene. I didn't cry. I didn't do anything but pack up my stuff and walk out with my dignity in tact.

I cried on my way to berkeley to pick up Loren.

I called him and told him while I was on my way over there. He told me not to cry. That those assholes weren't worth my tears. That I was miserable and the job was shit.

I agreed with him and stopped crying.

I waited for him to get off work. He took a few minutes and snuck out of work and gave me a big hug and some Manga to read in the car while I waited. He told me that he was gonna take me out that night and we were gonna have dinner and just forget the day ever happened.

So he got off work and we went and got the Old Spagetti Factory. And then we went home.

I spent the rest of the week there. I told my grandma, dave and missy, some friends and my aunt that I'd lost my job.

My grandma told me: " Ah well. Sucks to be you. Better get to steppin and take care of yo' shit.. " ( edited for demographic lingo )

Dave and Missy: " No rent, no stay. Start lookin for something and show us some progress. " ( They weren't mean about it and I totally understand. )

My friends: " Bastards. That job was shit anyway. "

My aunt: " So... now that you're not busy... wanna come visit for a few days? Maybe you should think about moving to texas with the family and going to college. "

Texas.

Texas.

Texas.

Then my uncle in Texas called me...

Uncle: " Look. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. I've been in the same position you have. I had to leave Texas to move to california to get my life back in order. Make the choice when you're ready but just remember, I've been there so even if everyone else tells you to do it. At least bear in mind that I understand how you feel about leaving your friends and life behind for a few years. So if you come to Texas, I want you to do it because YOU want to do it. Not because you have to. If you come. YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL! We won't make you work more than you need to just to cover your bills. You have to focus on getting a degree. We'll help you however we can. So keep me posted. "

I've been given 3 options at this point in my life.

1. Try for unemployment. If I don't make it. Option 2.

2. Get a job and fast. Something to cover bills n such for now and then move up to something better when things become more stable.

3. Go to Texas. Live rent free. Just make sure my car payments and cellphone are paid. I'd go just for the sole purpose of attending college. I have to make the decision within the next 2 months. My aunt said she'll take my cat. Fuck. I'm so scared.

I want to go to Texas. I really REALLY do. But I have my whole life here. My friends, Loren ( well.. that's it own thing. more later. ), comfort, etc.

I know I have responsibilities to take care of.

So this is what I've decided.

Right now: File for unemployment. Start looking for some little job somewhere if unemployment doesn't work out. And then come mid-august make my decision for Texas.

What's stopping me from just packin mah shizznit and heading over to the Lonestar State this instant?

The fact that I'm waiting to see what's going to happen with Loren.

He's going to Europe in the beginning of August to make the final decision of what his deal is with Mariesa. Basically he's never spent as long as he's going to spend in Europe with her. He's going for 2 weeks. If they can't get along for 2 weeks then he's finally going to accept that it just isn't going to work. And then we'll see where we're at.

And truthfully I'm waiting that long to decide about Texas because it is a big decision and I want to make sure that it's what I really want. So no, it's not all about Loren. So stop writing the " Don't wait for a guy etc.etc. " speeches :)

So yah.

There you have it.

I'm not going to be around a computer much for the next week but I can still check e-mail with my cellphone so feel free to respond or whatever.

I miss everyone and I'm sorry i've been distant. I just have major life decisions to make right now and not a lot of time to make them.

I love you all.

And I appreciate everyone for being the wonderful people that they are :)

Seeya.

P.S.

I'll keep my improv show dates posted.

Comments

[shannybug.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: Things are really shitty right now. I'm here if you need to vent.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Thanks... appreciate it.

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'll keep it short, since you're checking comments via your cellie. I'm glad you're generally okay, I'm glad you have options, no matter what you say, I STILL think you're putting relationship too high on the priority list but I know you'll do what you want to do and devil take the critics and I hope that you're able to find a job (soon!) to keep body and soul together and a roof over your head whilst you figure out what's going on. Good luck!

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[angelbob.livejournal.com]

While going back to Texas is something I personally never, never want to do, it sounds like it's what's right for you.

It also sounds like it's where you're headed. So, y'know, good luck, do well and all that jazz. Sounds like it'll fall into place nicely once you get it started.

[27outs.livejournal.com]

Texas is the right choice for you. It's hard, but it's the right choice.

[my-other-ljname.livejournal.com]

Well...

You know what's happened to me in my life... and my jobs... and my cars... and the money I've stolen... and the money that's been stolen from me... and just everything.

If I had the choices you had, I would go straight to Texas and not look back. Forget everything else, because you know in the end you're going to grow SO MUCH as a person. You'll have new experiences... and I'm not just talking about tornadoes and floods. The chance of getting a degree... life in order, it's such an opportunity.

Sometimes doing the right thing isn't necessarily the easiest. Do the right thing for YOU, which I think is Texas. Once in a lifetime opportunity. Can I come with you? =P

<3
be good. :)

[thetrader.livejournal.com]

As for Loren... I shouldn't be as opinionated as I'm about to be right now since I don't know Loren all that well, but from what I understand so far, I don't think he's really worth putting your life on hold for. I mean, he treated you as his back-up cuz he was holding himself out for that other girl. You are NOT "back-up" material, that's for damn sure. Better guys would not have diddle-daddled and just try to snatch you up in a heartbeart. He shouldn't be a reason to hold you back from getting your degree, boyfriend-wise.

And as for friends... Yea, I'm hard to leave behind, huh? :P

But friends are always there, and college, truth to be told, really isn't. It's difficult for people in their late 20s to be in a college atmosphere, because they can't relate to their younger classmates by that point. It's just socially awkward, and group studies are difficult to put together. I know, because I had to work with older people a few times. It was just weird. So do it while you still have a chance.

And hey, Texas... It's not all that bad. Except maybe College Station. Damn ultra-religious conservatives.

If the dream is big enough......

[renegadefunk.livejournal.com]

It seem that alot of people want you to do alot of things. Which is fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion. But dont get hung up on it. Find out what it is you want to do personally, what is your asperation in life? As to Loren, your success doesn't lie in another person. The same is true of Trisha and I. If a positive and stable relationship was going to happen between you two, it would already have happened.

You could go to Texas.... but imagine your current situation without your friends from here. North Carolina was brutal on me, I had no friends to do anything with. So if you can avoid this, all the better.

Hey about your job, if you called in everyday, and they did not tell you to go see a doctor, or you did and had a note. They cant legally fire you, assuming you did everything according to company policy.
If you feel you were wronged, I would demand my job back. Or sue for wrongful termination. At least threaten, they may give your job back with back wages. I understand it may not be the best job but double digits an hour is hard to come by.

Lots of luck.

[bootkitten.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm here, I understand, and will be at your beckon call should you need. Sounds like you know what to do. So just do what you need to do. I love you. Take care. I'm here.