And now the healing begins.

[awesomesprout]

So. It's been, what, about 4 days since my relationship ended with koga?

I've let myself become horridly upset, down, crushed, angsty, melodramatic, angry, etc.

And now. I'm laughing.

I'm come to realize that it's time to stop dwelling and it's time to move forward. There were moments of happiness and moments of sadness through it all. I let myself become paranoid and jealous.

And now. I go on living life with the understanding that I'm a better person for what I've done. And I know exactly what I'm capable of achieving.

I am a cat by nature. I crave attention and love. If I don't get it. I act out in bad ways and get bad attention. I get threatened easily by others in the kitty world. And I stick my nose up in the air and walk away from things I don't like to deal with. Well, at least, I used to anyway.

I have put a collar and a leash on my inner cat and I've learned to tame my " natural instincts. "

After a horrible night of vomiting up the medicine I took to sleep due to lack of food. And a horrible morning of reverting back to my upset and hurt self. I've done some personal research and growth and found that things really aren't as bad as I've made them out to be. And that for once. I can admit I overreacted.

So. I wish everyone luck with whatever they happen to be pursuing right now in life. Lord knows, I'm going to need it. I'm starting to find strength again and I'm getting on with my life. I'm not necessarily healed yet, but I'm in the right mind set to at least get the process rolling.

And you know what. Life's pretty funny sometimes if you stop looking so hard at the negative things and focus on the entire picture.

So on that note. I'm going to list some goals. Get dressed. Apply for jobs. And go on with my day.

And people. Seriously. I cannot stress this enough. The only two things in this world that should be worshipped. Are spongebob squarepants and Vin Diesel. Total opposites but still worth looking into.

Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.



Apply for jobs.
Take better care of myself.
Stop stressing about the little shit.
Move into my own place.
Get a playstation 2/metal ddr pad and game bundle.
Go back to school.
And start becoming the person I have been ignoring for the last 5 months.

Comments

[27outs.livejournal.com]

well, semester starts in about a week. You could still, If you bust ass, apply and get some classes. If you need help doing the financial aid thing, I am an expert:) given your unemployment, you likely can get a waiver and book voucher.

Will and I are taking a class on monday nights...

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Doesn't it take tons of time to get financial aid tho? would I even make it? And yes. I'd love to start school!

[27outs.livejournal.com]

nope, 24 hours - for a board of governor's waiver. That waives your class fees. They also have a book voucher, i don't think that takes that long either.

You are thinking of a FAFSA - Free Application for Federal Student Aid. That pays for more.

What did you make last year? did anyone claim you as a dependent?

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

No deps. and for the year of 2003... it was less than 20 thousand. Could you help me when I came by tomorrow? I found my disk. I need to be in school I think.

[27outs.livejournal.com]

I think it might be 12,000 for one person. I'm not sure... Yeah, why don't we meet up and go to DVC and grab whatever paperwork you need. You are gonna have to stand in a big line... But, it'll be good for you.

We'll pick stuff that will get requirements out of the way, that don't need assesment classes. I love this kind of shit...

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

what time should I come by?

[27outs.livejournal.com]

Do you want to meet at my house and take 1 car to the gym/ dvc? or meet at one of them?

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

1 car from your house

[27outs.livejournal.com]

okay, the registration office closes at 7, i get home at 5:15... 5:30 at my house and we will go to dvc first and get your paperwork done. We will put in your application and financial aid stuff then. We will work on picking classes and you will register in a few days (once we know if your fees are waived).

Now, we may have to do the old trick of showing up to a class with an add card, but that is no problem, really. I think once your app is in you can pop over to dvc.edu and register online. If not, you are going to have to stand in a looong ass line.

Do you want to take that Mythology class with Will and I on Mondays? I know the teacher, she's good. No prerec's and it fill a requirement. jsut about perfect class...

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

sure!.. see ya then!

[27outs.livejournal.com]

ok, you want some dinner before we go? One condition - the word "James" and all subjects related therin are banned from my house ;)

(James isn't - just you talking about him :) )

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

i don't think that will be a problem. uh, yah dinner sounds good. I didn't know we were going to the gym so I might have to pass cuz I'm going clubbing later on in the evening

[27outs.livejournal.com]

*grumble, grumble*

ok, I can go to the gym solo.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

It's not like this is the ONLY time we can go to the gym together.. sheesh :)

[27outs.livejournal.com]

pbbbbbbbbbbbt

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

I'm bringing ethan too because he's driving tonight and I'm not bringing my car. is that ok?

he's also interested in classes at dvc. If it's a problem lemme know in the next 5 or so minutes

[27outs.livejournal.com]

ack! I don't have dinner for that many people.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

If that's the only reason? Don't even worry about it. He's got leftovers from Claim Jumpers and isn't hungry. Would it still be ok if he came?

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

Slaps upside the head are always free. ;)

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. I will let you take credit for it THIS time :) i'll tell you why this all happened after you stopped talking to me and had to go, later on in an IM.