Angry?

[awesomesprout]

Angry? Why should I be angry?

I'm the one who broke the rules. I'm the one who assumed something once again. I'm the one who fucked up. I'm angry. FUCK YAH I'm angry.

I'm angry at myself for wanting more than I'm entitled to.

I'm angry at myself for not being someone I should be.

I'm angry at myself for once again not listening.

So then...

Why do I keep doing it?

Maybe it's cuz I never got angry at myself before.



Going Under by Evanescence

now i will tell you what i've done for you
50 thousand tears i've cried
screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
and you still won't hear me
don't want your hand this time i'll save myself
maybe i'll wake up for once
not tormented daily defeated by you
just when i thought i'd reached the bottom
i'm dying again

i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through
i'm going under

blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
so i don't know what's real and what's not
always confusing the thoughts in my head
so i can't trust myself anymore
i'm dying again

i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through

so go on and scream
scream at me i'm so far away
i won't be broken again
i've got to breathe i can't keep going under

Comments

[koga.livejournal.com]

For the most part, this post was not aimed at you.

It is aimed at those who sit in judgement.

HOwever, I have asked you, pleaded with you, and in the end, outright demanded that you stop posting relationship related material in this lj because it just feeds the overarching drama. You keep posting after agreeing. Yes, that does anger me.


AG.

[dicedork.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you should invest in some less constraining agreements. You've always maintained that a journal is for the journaler and those who read do so at their own peril--you have even vented today that the buyer beware. Perhaps Jessica is using LJ as a passive agressive attempt to get sympathy by turning around popular support against you in a great conspiritorial scheeme, but it' more likely that she's just venting.

I might suggest that your true quarrel is with people who read into this stuff. With those who aren't soliciting your side of things, or jump to conclusions. With those who are reading a vague no-names-named post of self deprication, and jumping to the conclusion that you are unfair. But I think you might be suffering from a healthy dose of self consciousness in this regard. Most people are judging the situation, not you or her specifically.