Angry?

[awesomesprout]

Angry? Why should I be angry?

I'm the one who broke the rules. I'm the one who assumed something once again. I'm the one who fucked up. I'm angry. FUCK YAH I'm angry.

I'm angry at myself for wanting more than I'm entitled to.

I'm angry at myself for not being someone I should be.

I'm angry at myself for once again not listening.

So then...

Why do I keep doing it?

Maybe it's cuz I never got angry at myself before.



Going Under by Evanescence

now i will tell you what i've done for you
50 thousand tears i've cried
screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
and you still won't hear me
don't want your hand this time i'll save myself
maybe i'll wake up for once
not tormented daily defeated by you
just when i thought i'd reached the bottom
i'm dying again

i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through
i'm going under

blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
so i don't know what's real and what's not
always confusing the thoughts in my head
so i can't trust myself anymore
i'm dying again

i'm going under
drowning in you
i'm falling forever
i've got to break through

so go on and scream
scream at me i'm so far away
i won't be broken again
i've got to breathe i can't keep going under

Comments

[urbanbard.livejournal.com]

I want to comment on this specific comment - Sometimes, the rules placed upon us by others are not fair.

And though the others attempt to absolve themselves of responsibility because we are the ones who broke the rules, in truth, they are as just at fault for placing us under impossible conditions.


Let me say first, that this comment is not in reference to the specific situation that inspired this thread. I do my best not to comment on specific relationships in public settings, so please do NOT take this in any way as a comment on the relationship that inspired this all.

That being said, I disagree with this comment about rules. Rules, issues, emotions, none of these thing, IMHO are ever 'fair or unfair.' Because you always have the choice to accept, not accept, or negotiate further. If someone draws a line in the sand, and says, these are my rules, or else... well, thats their choice. and then whoever they are dealing with has the choice to accept the rules, or say no, I can't accept them.

[s33k3r.livejournal.com]

I am ignorant of this situation, so please do not apply anything I write directly to this situation.

All true, to be sure.

However, if we are stronger people who set these limits on those that are weaker with personal gain for ourselves, with the full knowledge that the other will most likely break the condition, then we have taken advantage of the weaker.

For example, if a woman is in love with me, but I tell her that we can only have a physical relationship/friendship and not a serious relationship, I know that she will accept in the attempt gain my love and trust. But if I know that my personal feelings will never change, then I have set her up for failure and also for deep hurt since she cannot change how she feels and she has entered into the contract with the hope of gaining more.

The fault of hers is that she accepted the contract while hoping for more. The fault of mine is that I placed that ridiculous contract before her, knowing that she would accept with false hopes, and knowing that she would be hurt all the more in the end.

In this case, as the stronger person, I must accept the responsibility to protect the weaker person from herself, and not even place the contract before her.

[dicedork.livejournal.com]

I think that sounds more like integrity than justice. :-p

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

>remaining firmly out of the overall mess<

Intriguing...

While they are distinct concepts, one might argue that true justice requires integrity as a facet of a greater whole. To be truly just, one must be honest and just actions seem to be rooted in integrity.

Debate, discuss, debunk at your whim. Or feel free to take it up with me at my place. :)

[dicedork.livejournal.com]

I'd say that justice--true justice--does require integrity. But not all integrity even involves justice. This situation, for example, has more to do with self-honesty and feelings than what-is-really-truly-fair.

So I'd have to say it's analagous to squares and rectangles. :)

[s33k3r.livejournal.com]

True, it is integrity when applied to the self.

When applied to others, when we hold others to the same ideal, then that is justice.