No. I'm not ok. But hey, I'm dealing...

[awesomesprout]

So yes. If you don't know. I'm probably not gonna tell you here. E-mail me if you want to know. But the way gossip and information spreads through my group of friends like wild fire I'm sure half the world knows.

I'm confused. I'm scared. I'm tired. I'm worried. I'm lonely. I'm hurt. I'm upset. I'm feeling low. I'm feeling very... I don't know anymore.

I have so many questions.

First off. I want to thank Johanna ( britgeekgirl ) for listening to me tonight. And for the waitress at Denny's who put it ever so simply. Guys suck. And here's why... thanks :) Mebbe I will leave and join the army for 6 months... but I couldn't leave my kitty for that and I'm pretty sure James would miss me.

I need time. I need affection. I need love. I need a lot of things. I need to just be held and not let go for a while. I just need to let it all out. If that means sobbing hysterically on someone's shoulder than so be it.

Sigh. I just... I don't know anymore.

Don't start yelling at James. And don't start saying bad things. This isn't his fault. And it's better that it's happening now than later. I need to learn if it's something I can accept.

Comments

[uisge.livejournal.com]

Here's a good place to start. Make a list of what it would take for you to feel okay with all of this. Three nights a week alone? To always know where he is? To meet and like his OSOs? Whatever, write it down. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Also...what are the chances of you finding another love? It's often easier to deal with and easier to learn about if you're *not* feeling alone and scared and left out.