Fear.

[awesomesprout]

" I know, " She said softly. He turned over from his position on his side over to his other side so he could look her in the face. He smiled, and in an almost mocking tone he asked, " Oh really? What do you know? "

" I know what you're afraid of. " She was looking him dead in the eye at this point. Not moving. No expression. His smile faded. His eyes gazed into hers with interest and shock, unblinking. " Oh yeah? This I've got to hear. "

" You're afraid to be loved. You're afraid of being alone even though you ask to be alone so much. You're afraid of getting hurt. You're afraid to let anyone in other than yourself because you can't control what others may do to you. " She watched him for any sign of a reaction. He looked angry. He looked like he was ready to explode at any moment. He was gritting his teeth and turning red.

He hated having this conversation because he'd always assumed she'd never figure out what he was truely afraid of. He'd spent all those years carefully constructing that mask of confidence and bravery. It was starting to crumble. It was starting to come down. He could do nothing but listen and stare.

She hesitated and then asked, " Shall I continue? " She could tell what she was doing was getting through to him. Her heart starting beater faster. She didn't know what would be the outcome of this conversation. Would he leave her? Would he just get furious? She didn't know, but she had finally starting answering the questions that seemed impossible to answer.

He nodded. That's all he was capable of. He felt like he'd just been smacked very hard across the face.

She started talking very rapidly. Words were just flowing from her mouth. Her mouth raced to catch up with her brain. " You're afraid to fail. You're afraid of losing control. You're afraid of being controlled. You're afraid that someone will make you feel. You think that by putting the focus on everyone else around you that the focus will be taking off of you and your emotions. You're afraid of forgetting who you are for someone else. You want to be loved but don't always want to do the work that comes with it. You want the world to understand things the way you do and get angry when they don't. You're afraid of being changed by another. You're afraid you won't be accepted. " She stopped talking for he was crying now. She had to catch her breath.

Nothing but small noises issued from his now gaping mouth. Tears ran steadily down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and began sobbing uncontrollably.

She grabbed him and gave him the tightest most loving hug she'd ever given. " I don't want to hurt you. But you need to accept your fears and only then will you be able to fix them. " She kissed his cheeks and dried his tears. " I'm here for you. You don't have to be afraid anymore. " She'd said enough for now.

He hugged her tightly and didn't let go. He nodded at all she was saying to him and nothing more. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Tomorrow would be a wonderful day.