another sunday....

[awesomesprout]

Am I just that much of a loser? Do people just not like hanging out with me.... I mean crap... I do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE and more so than I do for myself and people just walk all over me like I'm not even there.... I was SUPPOSED to hang out with Evan today but like... 2 pages and one e-mail later his ass still hasn't called me. Whatever. And like people don't respond to my e-mails after in the e-mail they claim to like hella miss me and crap... this is so gay... well I'm just gonna say, screw you all!!!! I'm gonna go do something today and if you wanna hang out with me you know my number if not that's fine... I don't need you people anyway... I mean hell... even in my bright ass green beetle people still ignore me.... It's like.. how do you not miss a freaking bright car like that??!!?! But yet, I'll be backing out, or waiting for a parking spot, or something and people will just steal my spot or honk at me for backing out or just drive past me like I'm not there... It's like what the hell!! SORRY FOR TAKING UP SPACE ON YOUR EARTH!!! God freaking forbid!!! And I'm like way too uncomfortable calling Allen's friends... I mean... they're cool and all but they're HIS friends. It just feels weird whenever I hang out with them... we have totally different senses of humor and everything... they never laugh at my jokes... they diss all my movie choices and music choices... they just make me feel stupid if I'm talking about something that isn't something they like... so it's like... what am I supposed to do? HUH !! What do you people want from me?! I gave up my ENTIRE life to be with Allen and you just can't stoop down to my level and laugh at my jokes or watch a few episodes of my favorite cartoon without making some mean comment. I still can't believe how mean they were when I first entered the picture... it's all bullshit. I do so much for people... so much! And what do I get... not a damn thing... but you know what... I'm ok with that.. .it's been like that my whole life... I just try to hard to please people who don't like me and just totally use me cuz I'm vulnerable for friendship... prolly cuz I have like hardly any friends... and they just take and take... and what do I do? I ignore it... I just keep being nice... and I get hurt for a little while and then I forget about it and move on.... god... I am a loser. Well, time to get ready for another sunday where I spend 2 hours trying to look good for the world and I just end up sitting on the sofa watching tv until allen gets home... well I'm late for my life... excuse me...

Comments

[graybaby.livejournal.com]

I think you're nice

feelings

[(Anonymous)]

My life was in a lost until if found the love of life , It took more then a dozens of dates numbers of dinner , moives, funparks...ect to find the women of dream. when i frist meet her i was shock, it was like being touch by god. i feel so funny inside. she was perfect, she was cute, smart, funny, loving, and even a little crazy like me. Every time i am around her i feel like i am on cloud 9 , up in heaven jumping in the clouds play with all the angels. I know this may sound a little crazy, but , i know i am very diffent from my friends, yeah they like me for who i am but, do they like me cause i am me or are they condition to like me because i been around so dam long friends with every of of them. i know the pain the you feel not feeling you belong there. Tell you the ture i thank you for every time that you take some shit from you man friends. it happends. i don't like every thing then do and you know not everyone is going to agreed in every thing you say. but please don't care or do get hurt in what they say about you show the only thing it should really matter in you life is the one you love. it is hard being the new kid on the block. but,we much adopt to suriver..........