" Wonderboy, won't you take me away from the Mucky Muck Man?... " - Wonderboy by Tenacious D.

[awesomesprout]

I think.....


I'm depressed. Again.

Fuck.

It's been a constant downward spiral for me lately and when I hit bottom I cracked again.

There are things I SHOULD be happy about. But... I'm not.

People keep asking me how I'm doing and if I'm ok.

NO! I'M NOT OK!!!

I've shut my brain down completely with the exception of basic thoughts. Eating, sleeping, drinking, pottying, etc.

I just don't want to think anymore. EVER AGAIN.

Thinking is deadly people. It really is. Brains are not gifts, they're weapons that are used against us.

Maybe I'll just get a lobotomy.

" But Jessica, you seemed so happy the last couple of days... what's wrong? We thought you were getting better? "

Ha. You think I can't FEIGN happiness for a few hours?

Please.

Comments

[thetrader.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see... I still feel like you're a whole lot luckier than I am because at least you're dealing with something that you have some control and influence over; how things go for you comes down to your own determination and willpower. Accountability, you know? That alone is something to be happy about, believe me. In any case, you have my support.

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

I know what you're going through too Jason and I'm here for you like you've been here for me. We're each dealing with different problems on many different levels but they're still big parts of our lives... and all I can offer is my support, an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.

[thetrader.livejournal.com]

Thanks ya, babe. Let me know what I can do.