Of sorts.

Yesterday I had plans to go to my uncle's after class. So, I had my friends/classmates Blake and Sammy give me a ride to BART so I could bart over to Colma and meet my uncle.

The trip was decent. Just a lot of people watching.

Unfortunately... my uncle didn't know where the Colma bart station was. And I sucked at giving him directions.

He got lost. Really. Really Lost.

So I hoofed it over to the nearest payphone I could find because yes, my cell phone battery died.

After many tries, I managed to get a hold of Loren who called my uncle and gave him proper directions to find me.

I went to my uncles and had dinner.

Then he took me by my place so I could get clothes n stuff to stay at Blake and Sammy's so I could get a ride to school this morning.

I ended up hanging out with Blake for a while. We went by school. Grabbed a late night meal. Hung out.

Then we went home and I passed out on the couch.

Went to class and work today. Got bitched out more by my grandma was told repeatedly how when it comes to certain things I'm really fucking stupid.

Yay.

Oh.. and I just got a letter in the mail saying I'm approved for 7500 in students loans that I applied for. Which.... if this is true.. I'm going to be very very happy.

So I'm going to talk to financial aid on monday and figure that out.

Well.

Back to cleaning my room.

Wait. Jessica. Is that you?

But what are you doing home at 9:45am on a Thursday? Shouldn't you be at work?

Oh well allow me to explain, Gentle Reader.

My car. Well of course, the registration was expired. Simply because I didn't have the money to pay it.

Well the 6month mark passed and my car was deemed towable by the DMV.

A cop had pulled me over about 10 days before my car was towable.

My uncle and I had worked out an agreement to where I was going to sell him the car. We were going to register it and get it up to good standing. And then I was going to pay back what I owed for my registration over time.

Well. The forces that be felt differently.

They had set up a trap at the maingate of Treasure Island this morning.

I got pulled over.

And my car, yes that's right, was towed to impound.

So now. I have no car.

My life, is fucked.

Go me.

My grandma is going to have to front me the money but by the time the check gets here and clears ( she's going to have to write a check from her credit card so the bank makes you wait like 10 days for it to clear ) that means 10 days without a car to school or work. Sure. I can get rides to class and whatnot. And I do live with a co-worker so a couple of shifts might be ok there.

But yah. On the whole. I'm hella screwed.

So if you don't mind. I'm going to go and reflect on why exactly I'm such a fuckup and continue to make my own life, as difficult as possible.

And it's funny. I haven't said anything but over the last week Mike has been continously e-mailing me and bitching me out for various things that I'm doing with my life. And also, Sarah, the girl he cheated on me with last year around this time has e-mailed me also to bitch me out.

And what happened the last time there was Sarah/Mike drama in my life? My car got towed.

So remind me to thank them for being such good luck charms.

Disneyland is no longer happening.

Myself and one of the girls going can't afford the trip costs.

I'm just so frustrated with my finances right now.

And I just really wanted to do something awesome for my birthday.

I think I'll just try and do Dicken's Faire this year again.

I just really wanna cry.

I feel like I'm drowning in my bills and it doesn't help that I'm working less because of school.

I've been looking for side jobs to help but it's not easy when you don't know what you're schedule is going to be in a couple of weeks.

:(

Sigh.

Dear Jessica,

Here's the thing.

You ARE a good person. People DO like you. You are beautiful. You do have friends. You are better than the drama. School wasn't a bad idea. You will be able to be successful. You are smart enough. You are talented enough. You are capable of moving on. You will be strong enough. And you will learn from this.

Just please take better care of yourself and everything will be ok.

More sleep. More food.

Remember... smile.

You look kinda pissy when you don't and then that makes people not want to talk to you.

And you're better than any of that drama. No matter how much you may miss him.

I still love you. Never forget that, ok? Even if you've ignored me. I've still always been there for you. And I always will be.

And Disneyland may not happen. Don't be disappointed. Just remember that things happen for a reason.

Stay confident.

This too shall pass.

Love always,

Jessica

P.S.

And no... the UPS guy doesn't think you're a dork for crying. :) He just admitted he's a cryer too :)

It's been a long weekend.

Friday night I stayed up late at school. Got home. Cried like a bitch over the phone call from Mike.

Woke up ass early and drove my ass to Berkeley to hang out with Blake and Sammy. Well not so much hanging out. More like there to do some work.

I was dying Blake's hair black and shaving Sammy's hair for his mohawk.

I was starving and we needed to kill time before the stores opened so that Blake could get a dye brush and bowl thingy for the dye. Sammy stayed in bed with his GF and demanded that we bring him coffee :)

Blake and I went to Cafe Med on Telegraph and had breakfast and talked about random shit. The beauty supply store finally opened and we got what we needed.

I got the dye together and set the bowl on the windowsill in their bathroom. And yes. As you can guess. I knocked it over and spilled about 90% of it. Go me. Sammy ran lighting fast to the store and got more. Thank goodness.

So now they have this awesome, bluish splash of color in their WHITE bathroom :) They're thinking about painting the bathroom anyway. Haha :)

After I was done my friend Gen picked me up to go try on Bridesmaids dresses. Woot!

We headed to David's Bridal and the first dress I put on was ok. But then we found another that was perfect :) The wedding is in December so of course, Christmas colors. The dresses are going to be red :) And the shoes and bags that go with them are totally cute. I'm excited.

Gen and I got lunch after. Earlier in the day she had invited me to go to Ren Faire so I was down.

The rest of the day was pretty chill. Just hung out.

Today we went to Ren Faire. Had a pretty good time like I usually do there. I got to be part of the Bold and Stupid Men show :) They got into a swordfight over me and I was the center of the show for like 10 minutes :) My ego was huge. :) haha :) And after the show, Bolt Upright thanked me for being such a good sport and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

The rest of faire was good times. It took forever to get home.

So now I'm at school and going to get as much homework done as possible and do a little research for my drawing for psych due in a week or so.

Oh my god. It's almost the end of my first term. Jesus.

Now I'm stressed. Just because I don't know what my class schedule for next term is and my stupid asshole manager is being a douche about working with my schedule. He keeps acting like he's doing me some favor or something.

So here's to keeping fingers crossed I suppose.

Back to work.

I'd just like to state....

That I think my tattoos are pretty fuckin' sexy.

They're so sexy that when I think about them..

I turn myself on.

Woohoo :)

I f'n love the song, " Ladies Night " by Nina Sky and Ivy Queen

OH MY GOD!

I could listen to this on loop for HOURS!

I can't wait til I get the MP3 player my grandma is getting me for my birthday so I can do just that.

Watch all my homework end up in spanish or something :)

Haha :)

Man OH man... Life still moves rapidly.

I just got asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding taking place Dec. 1st.

My friends Pat and Gen ( the lesbians who took me out for japanese food last night and who I had the bisexual button convo with ) are FINALLY :) haha :) getting married. And I got call today from Gen during my break from class and she asked me if I'd do it! :) I'm soooo excited! I almost cried :)

My new friend Sean was sitting there talking to me and we paused so I could take the call and like.. I feel so silly because I was being all girly after I got off the phone.

Crap. now I need a date! Or maybe not. Who knows. All I know is it's the first of 2 weddings that I get to be in which means I'll have 2 times where I can dress up and be pretty! :)

That makes me happy :)

And I'm happy for them :)

Tomorrow is my mid-term in Anthropology. And hanging out with ms.vacantseas for movie watching and such.

I'm supposed to work friday night but I don't have class on Friday since we don't have a mid-term in my psych class so I may try to work the early shift and have a little bit of a social life.

Saturday, I'm supposed to hang out with mah boys Blake and Sammy. Sammy wants me to shave the sides of his head because he has a mohawk. And Blake wants to dye his hair black. So we'll see how that goes :)

And I need to get fitted for my dress hopefully saturday too :)

Woot :)

I have 2 large assignments coming up so the next couple of weeks I need to buckle down and work work work. I need to make a rather large drawing for my psych class and for anthro I need to do critiques of some articles that are due at the end of class. And I need to finish some in-book quizzes for psych. The drawing I'm going to do is going to look awesome because my uncle is buying me a 48 count set of Prismacolor markers for my birthday so that I can use the for the course of school and such too but oh man. Those markers are sweet! :)

Lordy.

Oh and tonight after work my friend Sean wants to hang out which should be fine because I finally got a lot of sleep last night and I can do my homework while I'm at work.

Woo.

OH! And it's coming up to be time to apply to be a Student Volunteer for Siggraph 2008. If you apply you can also try to get expenses for the trip taken care of too. So I'm totally going to do that.

It's hard because I don't know where I'm going to be in terms of classes and whatnot but I've been told by staff here that the teachers are pretty accomidating to students going to siggraph.

SO yah.

Alright. Well that's about it for me. I'm still around if people like.. ever.. wanna hang out or anything... :)

Oh and I'm gonna aim for death guild monday. Not sure if it's gonna happen but I'd like to see if anyone else is interested in going. I can prolly give people rides.

Yesterday my co-worker and I had a really funny exchage:

Me: You know.. you're totally going to hell for that.

Him: Yeah well. I'm taking you with me.

Me: Woohoo! Road trip! :)

Him: * laughing *



I had a blast at the club last night. I forgot how much I miss clubbing. And there was this hot chick I was going to say hi to but she totally left before I could say anything! :(

I'm REALLY exhausted but thankfully I finished my homework so I'm not stressin about it.

We're fleabombing the house today. Woo. So I get to clean up that goodness when I get home.

The roommate that I talked about taking my food a few entries ago took MORE of my food. So in total he took: 2 granola bars, about 6 or 8 slices of my bread, and an ENTIRE bag of sunchips. Like... one of the big bags. So needless to say, I'm really pissed about that. He's promised about 3 times to replace it but I haven't seen anything magically appear yet.

So I think I'll just go buy the items and present him with the receipt and demand payment right then and there.

We'll see.

Alright.. back to work. I'm only here another 4.5 hours and then it's time for class! I can't believe I already have a mid-term on thursday.

Craziness.

OH! And another interesting thing happened. We have these students forums that students post in about random stuff. And someone had posted about a creature thumbnail drawing contest.

Well. I didn't know what thumbnail drawings were so I asked and I said that I was new to the Animation and Visual FX world so I was looking for a little clarity on the matter.

Some douchebag responded and was like.. oh my god.. you are such a noob... I don't know whether or not to take you seriously.. blah blah blah.

I told him to lay off and that I was being serious. Also, that people have to start somewhere.

Well guess what?

A small mass of Animation & Visual FX students bumrushed the guy with comments and totally told him to lay off and to stop being such an asshole.

Woohoo! :) I got my AVE peeps to back me up!

That felt AWESOME! :)

Yay :)

I ♥ people in my industry.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ok.. I feel better. Sorta.

Holy God! Is it REALLY 7pm on Monday, Oct. 1st?!

Where in the hell did the weekend and/or year go?

Weekend was fun.

The open house I worked at was SOOOOO much fun! :) I got a really awesome new school shirt. It has our new design n stuff on it. And it's way comfy.

I only got 4 or so hours of sleep the night before though so I was REALLY tired.

Then, I went home and packed.

My friend Dave and I headed to Everett and Jones for lunch and then down to San Jose.

It was just a lax day. Watched tv and dvds. Did some homework. Slept (crappily.).

Got up on Sunday and we went to Ren Faire. It was SOOOOOO much fun! :) I was really tired though so I was pretty reserved through most of it. But good times none the less. Thanks go to Dave for taking me.

Moonie and Broon and Bold and Stupid Men were AWESOME! :) As well as the other shows that were there.

My garb got a lot of compliments which boosted my ego also :)

Not much else going on.

Class this morning. Work.

Work tomorrow morning and then class.

Midterm on Thursday. No class friday ( still gotta work. :( )

Hanging out with friends tomorrow after class.

Making a big pot o pasta tonight for dinner.

I got my school hoodie today too! :) Oh man. That thing is AWESOME! :)

I, of course, already got stuff on it so I have to wash it tonight. But yah! I'm gonna be fitted to the 9 with all my Ex'pression gear :) haha :)

Alright.. back to homework.

This made me laugh...

I was having a conversation via text with a happily, engaged lesbian friend of mine today.

( we were discussing when we could hang out )

Her: What about tonight?

Me: Tonight, I have plans. But I'm free next week on Tuesday.

Her: I think we're free. So, dating anyone?

Me: Nope. I'm totally single. Cool, Tuesday works.

Her: Still into girls?

Me: Of course I still like girls. It's not like I have a bisexual off button. :)

Her: You make me laugh.

Me: I try. :)


I thought that was pretty funny :)