Fuck my intuition....

[awesomesprout]

So on 7/7/03... almost exactly a month ago I wrote an entry that said... something big was gonna happen. Well I wrote something wonderful was. It wasn't wonderful. I saw a dead body yesterday. That body was the former holder of the soul that once belonged to my father. My father... is dead. I was at work when I got the news. I almost passed out right there. I started sobbing hysterically. I was supposed to see my father for his birthday party on sunday. I didn't go. I flaked. I hadn't seen him in about 5 months. The last time I talked to him was last friday to tell him I was coming to the party. My family said he looked better at the party than he'd looked in ages. He had a massive stroke after falling unconcious yesterday afternoon. The firemen couldn't revive him with CPR. I haven't cried ever like I cried for him yesterday. He was the most amazing person I've ever met. He was a quadrapelegic... He was in a wheelchair. He was amazing. He could do anything. And then... about 7 or so month ago... he started getting sick. And he kept getting worse. But lately... he was getting better... he was talking about finally getting out of bed and being up and about for the first time in months. And then it all came to a grinding halt. It's over. No more pain. No more suffering. Nothing. I love you dad. May peace and angels be with you. We're going to have a thai funeral for him because as some of you may know my family is from thailand.......... yes we're white but well... it's a long story. If you guys need to get a hold of me you can do so by calling my cell phone.. 510-693-7476.... or e-mailing me at dragonreleasedwithen@yahoo.com.... I'm gonna be in walnut creek for the next few days with my family... they're letting me the main decision maker for what happens with him for the next couple days. Later all....

Love,
Jess


p.s.

Jason B. I don't know if thursday will work... I was trying to tell you this on the phone but I don't think you heard me... e-mail me... I want to get a tattoo in honor of my father so mebbe you can go with me sometime next week to get it. let me know. I'm sorry..

Comments

[thetrader.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez, I'm really sorry, Jessica. I knew you were trying to tell me something along that line and I couldn't figure out, because I kept getting dropped signals last night on the cell. I just left a voicemail a minute ago. I'm really terribly sorry, let me know if there's anything I can do to help you out, and my friend's a pro with tat designs. I'd love to be there for you, as I know you'd be there for me sometime in the next few weeks. Please take care of yourself.

[thyroyalmajesty.livejournal.com]

Jessica,

You have my sincerest condolences. I don't know what it's like to lose someone that close to me, so I can only imagine what you're going through. Still, my heart goes out to you and your family.

Simone

[imdanyl.livejournal.com]

My condolences and thoughts are with you at this very difficult time.

Keep your head up

[(Anonymous)]

Jesse
i just wanted to say i am sorry for the pain that you feel now.I know how hard it is to lose someone you love i am here for you if you need anything, let me know ok .. eMail me.. is the best way. I am sorry baby cake thing will get better i promise you i am here let me know what you need ok ..

Love
ALLEN

[tikijam.livejournal.com]

hey jessica...I just wanted to let you know I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, but just know that if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. Take care.

[appletrees.livejournal.com]

Hi Jess

I'm so sorry to hear about your father's passing. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. We all love you. *hugs*

~Alison

[sproutchk.livejournal.com]

Thank you guys all so much. Right now I'm just so exhausted both mentally and physically. One side of me just wants to walk to the top of a mountain and cry until I can't cry anymore... the other side of me has to be strong and make all these excutive decisions to make sure all his wishes are taken care of.. so please.. bear with me with guys... I'll be back soon enough... I love you all...

Jess