God...

I hate when I'm just another of something.

Like say there's this really popular ( by after high school standards and such ) guy and like he's a total charmer,hottie,etc... and all these girls like him.

So of course. I fall for it. And I end up liking him. And then I become JUST ANOTHER one of this guy's drooling groupies or something.

I HATE THAT!! Ug. I cannot deal with popular people. I'm way too attention hungry from my friends to cope.

Like, if I'm hanging out with said popular person I want to feel like its just me. But then say I call popular person to hang out and he's on the phone with me talking about the millions of other people JUST LIKE ME whom he's sharing his time with and therefore, has no time for me.

It makes me want to rip out my eyeballs or something. Cuz I really just don't feel all that special. Maybe I'm not just as social as I think. Maybe I just don't have the self-confidence to have a HUGE group of friends anymore.

Ug.

God. Maybe I should use all this newfound free time to fuckin' go out and meet people.

Or at least look at the opportunities to do so that are right in front of me... i.e.: The haunt.

Or maybe I really am neurotic and think way too much about things that aren't worth thinking about.

Whatever. I'm sick and need sleep.

AWWW!!

So cutest thing ever.

I gave Keroppi his fluids. Which because it's kidney related oftentimes makes him have to potty. Which sometimes he chooses to do on random things that are soft in my room.

So I was just watching him on my bed with my goose down blanket and he was pawing at it like he was kneading dough or " making biscuits " as my family refers to it.

Then after a few moments he would notice me watching him and would stop and look at me. Then would go back to what he was doing.

I thought he might have been looking for a spot to pee so I kept watching.

Turns out... he was mushing up the blanket so he could snuggle on top of it. :)

Woot.

So I found out why my status at el jobbo was caputted.

And yah. Like I thought. A REALLY stupid reason. Basically I was the scapegoat for my manager's stress. Yay.

If you want more details I'll tell you privately.

Some guy drove up beside me today while I was driving to school and whistled. He had a cowboy up sticker on his car. A huge one. :: shudder ::

I REALLY need to pay my rent/bills. Ug. stupid slow ass checks.

So I put my ad up on Craigslist looking for a roommate. If anyone is interested, let me know and I'll give you the link.

I really wanna play DDR. And go clubbing.

:: think think :: BaGG IS tomorrow afterall...

Maybe if I get my check in the mail and I have anything left over from bills I'll go play a game or two.

But. Who knows.

Back to the haunt on thursday.

Ug. I feel bleh.

Failure is a concept I've dealt with way too much lately. It's starting to take it's toll on my already low confidence.

Not good.

Oh well.

I'm tired.