Fuck.

I'm not working at the salon anymore.

note to self: Never work for a friend.

Oh.

And I got a letter saying I didn't get financial aid.

So now I'm really fucked.

My last but least likely to happen hope is my student loan.

If I don't get that. Or at least my book voucher ( which is also looking unlikely ), I'm not going to school.

And ONCE AGAIN my plans fall through. Wow, you'd think it'd be a lot easier over time to deal with the fact that I'm failure.

Oh did I say that? Yah well. Fuck it. I feel sorry for myself. Don't care who knows it. Don't care who doesn't like it.

SO what if most of my entries are " oh my life is so horrible. "

Since I alone have to deal with it then yah. It is fucking horrible.

I'm not the only one with problems. But right now. My problems are all that I see.

And until something changes.

Get used to it.

Hugs and I'm sorry's aren't going to help me. While I appreciate the thought. I don't need it.

Welp.

There's a very good chance that because the rent is cheaper I may be moving in with Loren.

We'll see.

Sigh...

So Loren is now on a plane to Long Beach where he'll board another plane headed for NY. He's going to arrive in NY at 3am our time.

He'll then spend the day in New York auditioning for Who wants to be a millionaire.

Then he'll board a plane home.

Stop in Las Vegas for an hour.

And then be in SF at 1am on Thursday.

I hate when my baby leaves. :(

I've had a REALLY crappy day.

After dealing with that stupid shit at the salon. Ugggg. That whole situation just pisses me off. Then having to drop Loren off. :( And while I was driving home I got smacked into by another car. Luckily no damage.

So essentially at this point I have to find a way to make enough money to live on while I go to school. Or else I have to drop school again and go back to working full - time.

The hope that I have is that I move in with Loren. First we have to discuss it with his current roommates and see if they're cool with cats. I refuse to give up my cats again. Especially with Keroppi's illness. ( Mr. Fuzzy himself is currently sitting to my right on the mouse and resting his head on my arm while I type. )

So the plan is:

DUN DUN DUN! THE PLAN!

If all goes well. I'll move in with Loren. After selling as much shit as I possibly can and taking bare necessities while putting things I cannot live without in storage. But hopefully that won't have to happen.

While living at Loren's I'll only have to pay about 250 or so a month rent + utilities.

Granted, I'll be commuting a lot more but oh well. Maybe I can rely on BART more.

I'm not happy about the possibility of moving. But what needs to be done needs to be done.

While living there I'll either live on unemployment til it runs out. Or get a small job to pay the bills while I go to school.

So we'll see.

Let's all think happy thoughts to Loren's roommates to let me in.

:: hopehopehope ::

Moving to Texas isn't really a much better option either. Essentially. I'll be in the same spot just without the worry of paying rent. SO yah. I'm gonna try to exhaust all my options here and then if nothing works out.

Lonestar State Here I come.