hm..

So what's been going on with me?

Well different things, really.

I haven't done any packing because I've been trying to spend every possible moment I can with Loren. It could very well be our last week together and I wanted to get in what I could.

Last night I had an interview with: www.doggieday.com as a pet care provider. I'm so excited about the prospect of this job. I was like. Say the word and I put in my two week notice! And if I get the job. I need 50 people who have pets and live in the S.F. area to sign up on the website so I Can get a company car. I need to save my little buggy from the commute if possible. I will become the biggest advertising/marketing whore.

But at least I'll have a job I actually like.

Loren leaves for so. cal tonight. It's his last weekend with Mariesa before she leaves for Europe on tuesday. So they're going to have the final big talk and come to a final decision as to what's going to happen relationship wise.

He's coming home at midnight on sunday/monday. I'm leaving at midnight and we're meeting halfway so he isn't driving back alone. ( he worries me. the boy falls asleep in 2 seconds flat because I believe he has apnea. So I was like. PLEASE let me meet you somewhere. )

We're gonna come back to Daly city and sleep and I guess all will be determined then.

Fuck. I'm scared.

We have this 99.9% perfect relationship. And in a matter of days it could all just be over. And become nothing more than a memory.

I've decided that if it does have to end. I'm pretty much not going to date anymore. I'm done. I'm going to focus all of my time on keeping my room clean in antioch and working. I just can't keep making stupid choices and getting myself hurt over relationships that don't work out.

I also told Loren I couldn't be his friend after this was over. At least not for a long while. Just because it will hurt too much.

It's all really frustrating to me. On the one hand I'm glad that it's coming to an end. On the other I wish it wasn't because it would mean I could still see him.

But who knows. Maybe they won't get into a relationship. And he'll stay with me. But once again. That's wishful thinking on my part.

Thanks to my amazing friend Missy, my cell phone is FINALLY getting turned back on tomorrow. Which will be nice.

FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE HELPING ME MOVE:

The U-haul isn't going to be available until 3pm. Fuck. So I guess we're only going to have time to do my storage unit because I have to in s.f. by 8pm. So that could be very well enough time. But we'll see. The stuff in my apartment can easily be moved on sunday so that's not a problem. My storage is my main concern.

So I'll update more on Loren, moving and the Job as I know more.

Thanks for everyone's support. I'm going to be depressed for the next couple of days and depending on how things go I'll prolly disappear from public view for a while.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.