WOW.

So there's this lady on Maury Povitch and she has 52mmm size boobs... They literally look like basketballs grafted to her body with skin....

So I know he won't read this but I do want to apologize to Dave W. for waking him up today... Sigh. See here's what happened...

So I volunteered to drive koga to his interview today. So we get up and get ready and we go. So I'm driving home and once again my brain starts to wander. And it wanders to thoughts of.. " hmm I really hope the door isn't locked when I get back to koga's"

Oh man. Me and my psychic ability. The door,was locked. So I stand outside for about 20 minutes and I knock or ring the doorbell at random intervals hoping to god dave wakes up and hears me. He doesn't.

So I walk over to their neighbor's house ( whom I know and have met ) and they call the house and wake up Dave. Dave sounds really pissed on the phone by the way the neighbor is talking to him.

I feel horrible. I think Dave is getting tired of me being here so much. Sigh...


So yah... stuff... I dunno.... sigh.

sigh.

So yes. There's one word that describes my life and how I'm feeling right now.

Fuck.

Let's break this down shall we?

First. I'm FUCKed. I have no job. I have little to no money. And I'm not whining because I know I have some control over this situation. I could go out and get myself a job. But I cannot FORCE people to hire me. I can only go so far as to put out applications and such. and if I don't get a job in the next couple of weeks my grandmother is taking my car, my computer, and kicking me to the curb.

Second, I'm FUCKing tired. I'm tired of a lot of things. I don't want to go into details about that because A. people whom it concerns read this journal and if it's something that needs to be discussed I will discuss it with them in person. and B. I'm attempting to learn how to deal with it. I just hope that it works out for the better and not the worse.

Third. I want to FUCK. Ok well. Maybe not like full on hot monkey sex but dood. I'm gettin seriously ansy. I don't want a fling. I'm over that stage in my life. There was a time in my life where when asked about the things that had happened... I will immediately begin to cry and I'm unable stop for a while because I thought that I could deal with the flings. The coldness. The lack of love. The lack of feeling. The lack of emotion. I thought that's what I wanted. I thought that's what would make me happy. Not feeling. Because if there was no emotion there in the first place there was no way I could get hurt later on. Yah. Go me and mah bad self. Well I was wrong. I'm emotionally scarred from that shit. And it's going to take a long time for me to heal.

and finally. Fourth. I don't know what the FUCK I want anymore. I need to seriously sit down and plan out my life. My future. My existance in this world. I hate planning shit like that but it needs to be done or else I'm not going anywhere. And I need to figure out love-wise what I want. What do I really want? What do I want to commit myself to? What do I want committed to me? Well... I don't know. Maybe for once I will just go with the flow. I'll bring forth a new me and end all my jealousy and my petty shit that I've dragged along with me like emotional baggage. I'm just scared. Can you understand that? Can you keep me safe at night? I'm not an easy person to love but the love I give in return is unconditional and forever. I will NEVER leave. Just be gentle. Because if you hurt me... I'll kill you.


Fuck.

Mix with me baby....

The Potion Maker
HailingEchoesium is a cloudy, lumpy brown solid leeched from the flesh of a lily of the valley.
Sproutchkium is a cloudy, crumbly green solid drawn from the belly of a wildebeest.
Mixing HailingEchoesium with Sproutchkium causes a violent chemical reaction, producing a milky lavender potion which gives the user protection from fire.
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

The Potion Maker
Sproutchkium is a cloudy, crumbly green solid drawn from the belly of a wildebeest.
Mix with Sproutchk! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

A conversation with my cat....

So I go to the bathroom and my cat. here's a little info on my cat. he's a one year old Norweigan forest cat. He follows me everywhere and he meows constantly. And he ONLY meows when i'm home...


So here goes:

( me going potty )

cat: Meow, meow, meow meow meow meow meowwwww meowwwww meow....

Me: Hi kitty.

Cat: Meow... meow meow...

Me: KITTY!! JESUS!! SERIOUSLY!! Do I meow at you when you're taking a poop? NO!!! SHUT UP!!!

Cat: Pause. MEOWWWWWW!!!

Me: ( smacking forehead) What?

Cat: MEOW!

Me: What!

Cat: MEEEOWWWWW!

Me: WHHHHATTTT!!!?!?!?

yes. highly philosophical...