Symbolism. Feelings and emotions are real. Actions aren't.

[awesomesprout]

No animals were harmed in this. It's just a post of emotions and the animal is used as a symbol.

I was once told by someone who affected me more deeply than anyone else ever had, " Sprout: Rail on against the machine. Censor not. "

So I'm not going to censor it this time.

I've censored my thoughts and pain and covered it up with a mask of strength and independance. No longer will I be hushed.

I killed a crow today.

His name was: Warrior der Liebe und der Blindheit zum Leben. It means Warrior of love and blindness to life.

I was minding my own business one sunny day when he entered into my life. It was a fierce and magical time. New feelings. New emotions. New loves. And a new sense of wonderment at such an amazing creature.

But I later came to realize that the situation was that of the bird's feather color. Black.

Things were not the way they seemed to be in the beginning. Rules were broken. Fights were had. Tears were shed. And the love I once felt had started to crumble.

I no longer wanted to play with the crow. He was snippy and painful. His cuts left scars and his caws shot pain through my ears and heart.

I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be followed by this animal I'd grown to know.

So today. I allowed myself to get close. I allowed my guard to go down and I lured the bird in.

I grabbed him and snapped his neck. He struggled and fought. Bit and cawed. But after a while. The only sound was that of my ragged breathing and my screams.

There was no blood. It was over in a moment. Ha. Moments. He used to caw about how he didn't believe in moments. That life was too short for them. Funny how a moment was all that it took to end it. His life. His moments. And mine.

I took the lifeless creature and gave it a proper burial. This. Is the burial. This story of triumph over anger and pain. This woven tale of death and language.

I have laid my thoughts, feelings, emotions, pains, angers, and other strings tied to this black minion to rest.

Now you may not understand what I'm talking about. Or think I'm cruel for saying such things. But this is for those of you who've offered your advice and for once. I'm taking it.

Now. If you'll excuse me. I appreciate your taking time out to read this. I have to go take care of some..... things.

Be well. And remember. Life is not all about love. It's only a piece to the puzzle which when completed is utter happiness. Where do you focus your attention to pieces? It may be hurting you and others more than you think.

Goodbye small crow.