awesomesprout | My decision.. the explination.

My decision is this. I have decided to push james out of my life completely.

Even if I don't let them affect me. The things he says about this new " interest " of his are hurtful.

I'm beating myself up emotionally trying to figure out why her and not me.

I can't do this anymore. I just can't.

I don't NEED James in my life anymore.

He offers nothing positive to me and I can't keep killing myself to try to get his approval.

It's upsetting me to write this because I know how hard it's going to be for me.

How I will actually have to, for the first time in my life, use self control to not speak to someone.

I'll need my friends as I deal with this and I thank you guys in advance.

I feel like I'm breaking an addiction. Because that's what James is. An addiction.

And I'm starting to doubt my own willpower.

So. Just please. If I start to talk to you and I sound crazy. Just please be there for me.

Thank you.