It's time.

[awesomesprout]

I've made my decision.

It will be hard. I know this. But it's something I have to ultimately do for me. I can't feel this pain anymore. I just can't. It's tearing me apart and as strong as I claim to be over and over people who know me are calling me a liar.

All I ever wanted was just for everything to be simple. But it didn't happen that way. So now. I make it that way.

Last night was part of that process. And I'm glad it happened.

Thanks Chris.

So. It begins.

Please wish me luck everyone. Because this time. I won't lie and say I'm strong. I already feel myself having second thoughts.

I will not be broken again.

But I will heal.

I owe a thanks to all of my friends who've join in a consensus to go from a dull murmur to a screaming in my face of logic.

Please don't stop screaming. Not for a while at least. I need to believe what I'm doing is right. Even if it hurts just as much had I made the other decision.

Existence of all that is painful must be forgotten.

Please don't let me sabotage myself.