Bleh.

First off,

Happy birthday to Johanna and Dave!!

Johanna

So. I found out yesterday that if I don't have a miracle happen in the next week or two my grandmother is going to get rid of my car.

If I don't get that miracle I won't have the money for rent and will be kicked out.

Loren's leaving to spend 12 days in Europe with Mariesa in a week and a half.

In a matter of weeks I could have nothing.

I'm really really scared...

I have debts I have bills I have deep and dark shadows that are looming overhead on a daily basis.

I'm finding life to be really overwhelming and I'm having a hard time not being depressed on a daily basis.

I'm doing what I do when I'm depressed and unable to deal. I'm pushing everyone away slowly but surely.

I'm even not wanting to spend time with Loren....

I just wish there was a day where I Didn't find out something else has gone wrong and I don't end up crying myself to sleep.